9 months in, 9 months postpartum
It is such a huge milestone when you finally hit 9 months postpartum. Your baby has exactly doubled in age, now growing outside of your body for as long as it had been growing inside your body. For me, reaching this stage feels like a momentous occasion! However, some societal norms circling this time in motherhood can really put a damper and add stress to this event.
There is so much innate competition to “bounce back.” Back to work, back to our pre-baby weight, back to the regularly scheduled programming of our pre-baby lives. I encourage you to repeat to yourself that none of this matters. Every situation is different and everyone is on a different time table at 9 months postpartum. What is important is that you are comfortable and happy with your situation. I encourage you to find the beauty in your day, show some grace and kindness to yourself, and work towards what makes you and your mental health happy.
What are my favorite tips to find this happy place? I’m so glad you asked. Whatever makes you happy. Great answer, I know. Honestly, it is different for every person, but I know what works for me.
I need some quiet time for myself. I am an extremely loud person and I live in a “loud house” with a loud husband and a really loud four year old. The baby is beginning to learn how to be loud, but usually reserves his voice until everyone else has stopped talking. If I don’t find quiet time for myself, I’m a wreck. My mind stops functioning clearly and my stress level rises. I stop being able to create, I dread going to sleep, and I begin to spiral. So, my solution? I purposefully schedule quiet time. It could be 5 minutes of breathwork, or thanks to the suggestion from one of my clients, I will do a walking meditation on Spotify while I’m commuting around the city. BTW, I’m also the person who wears airpods without music playing. This really helps me come inwards to myself and allows my mind to quiet. When I reach this sort of equilibrium in my brain, I’m able to plan and come up with fun workout sequences. I’m able to think long-term about the goals I have for my company. I have more patience and I can dig deeper into my well, for myself and for my family.
Movement is another way I stay happy. I need the endorphin release from moving my body. For decades, I was a professional dancer and six days a week I started my day with movement. This ritual has not left me. If I have two sedentary days in a row, my mental state suffers. Even 10 minutes of movement will lift me up. A fast paced walk, a family dance party, or chasing my four year old around are ways I like to incorporate movement when I don’t have the ability to get my own workout in. These activities act like a cardio workout, and then if I can find another five minutes throughout the day, I will work specifically on sculpting a body part. But the important thing is to just get moving!
I try to be as clear as possible about my plans and expectations. Long weekend ahead? I plan it out, delegating responsibilities and finding separate pockets of time to work and to enjoy together as a family. I live in a world where I have a great support system, but I do not expect anyone to read my mind about what I may want or need. I need my time off-camera, to work, but I also need time to connect with my husband. If I can find time during the day when our nanny is already working, I will suggest we meet at a coffee shop. Even going to the grocery store together, without kids, feels like a date! We desperately love our children, but crafting that bit of uninterrupted time is so important to maintain our relationship.
